[EVA] [fan-fiction] My first one, be nice!

[Doctor Wyrm]

 --- Novel Idea <eli108 at bellsouth.net> wrote: > Ok,
this is my first fan-fiction and I'm hoping to
> make a small series out
> of it.  The title is "Too Little; Too Late."

I don't know about posting fanfics, as i'm rather new
to this list, but i thought that yours was good,
especially for a first attempt.
Just a couple of niggling things annoyed me. Firstly,
you do know that Touji is male, and Asuka female,
right? 'Cos you referred to Touji as "her" and Asuka
as "him". Not something you want to do with all the
violent Asuka fans around. ^_^
Secondly, not a big point, but it's Maya, not Miya.
And thirdly, next chapter, or at least one of the next
couple, should explain why the angels were attacking
en masse and what the deal is with the sub-angel
thingies. If there was no explanation, or a weak one,
it would spoil a good fic.
And lastly, don't let bitchy messages get you down,
and keep writing! ^_^

Mantis 
(angrydrunkmidget at yahoo.com.au)

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