[EVA] Newbie FAQ (of sorts...)

[M]

Recently we have received a number of question lists from people watching Eva for the first time.
These question lists tend to be long and repetitive, so to avoid having to send individual replies, I
have compiled a short Newbie FAQ as follows to answer some of the more common questions (yes, these
are actual questions).

WARNING:  The following may be offensive to some people.
I apologize sincerely for the following in advance.  ^^;;;
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- does everyone at nerv already know that rei is a clone? didnt she die in episode 23, and yet
everyone still thinks she is alive.  => Yes, Nerv is actually a giant research facility dedicated to
improving on the concept of a dutch wife.  As such, all employees are involved in testing, and many
have their own personal Rei clone.
- what are the main symbols in the movie?  => Male/female, yin/yang and other sexual imagery
- how come in the series and the movies they keep on showing the telephone poles?  => Those are giant
phallic symbols.
- if the lance of longinus is used to cause the third impact, why did they throw it at one of the
angels?  => To symbolize penetration and destruction.
- why does Shinji see visions of Rei, Misato, and Asuka naked and talking to him, is he in love with
all three of them?  => Those are not visions, but flashbacks -- Rei, Misato and Asuka were actually
naked and talking to Shinji just before they raped him.  This of course messes up Shinji emotionally
and psychologically (see below).
- how come in the end of episode 26, shinji seems to have solved all of his mental problems and was
content with himself, but in the beginning of the movie he was depressed and messed up again?  =>
Because he was raped by Rei, Misato and Asuka (see above).
- how come in the sea by the beach there are statues of crucified Evas?  => Those are also giant
phallic symbols.
- why is pen pen still there? i thought he was sent to another family  => PenPen (penguins in
general, for that matter) is a Freudian construct related to sex, so Shinji continues to imagine him.

- why does the episodes start out light, kinda happy, exciting, and then get more and more dark and
depressing?  => Because this is the normal course of events in a purely sexual relationship without
emotional fulfillment.
- throughout the movie it talks about unifying the souls of human life on earth, what happens to the
animals?  => What, you mean you are also interested in beastiality?  @_@
- was Shinji actually a real wuss or was he just suffering tremendously? => What do you expect after
Shinji is raped by his cold-blooded killer guardian, martial-arts expert and overachiever
classmate/rival, and an emotionally stunted clone of his mother? (see above)
- how come in a few scenes in the episodes there are such long pauses?  => Haven't you ever stopped
to pause and catch your breath?
- if these people want to unite together and with everything, doesnt that mean u are mostly dead,
what is the point in that?  => This symbolizes uniting to create new life -- ie: sex.
- why do all of the characters at Nerve fall in love with their co-workers? and how do people know
who likes who when they dont show it in the episodes? (for example, they never showed Shigeru's love
for Maya)  => Because all Nerv personnel were supposed to subdue their personal feelings and
concentrate on the Rei dolls for purposes of research and product
improvement (see above).
- how come in the movie, they show the same scenes as from the episodes but they say different
things?  => This symbolizes the phenomenon where one partner accuses the other one of calling out
another person's name and the other partner denies it.
- Why did Misato abandon Shinji?  => Because he was too much of a child to satisfy her.
- Why is it that shinji is afraid of Misato and Rei but not Asuka?  => Because as seen in the last
scene, Shinji finally gets to be on top.

*groan*

Bochan_bird