[EVA] Live Action Eva Movie [SPOILERS for the OAV series, D & R and EOE ]

[Anto (Now with 50% more fun!)]

WARNING![SPOILERS FOR ALL THE EVA ANIME + 2 FILMS]




A pessimists forecast for the EVA live action. (I hope I'm REAL wrong on this, believe me.)

1). To sell it, the action elements of the film will emphasised. ROBOTS ROBOTS ROBOTS.

2). That scene where Shinji accidentally walks in on Rei naked is already GONE. In fact, goodbye
any naked Rei shots. (There's quite a few few come to thing of it... hey, that's cloning for
you...) Same with the masterbation scene in EOE.

3). Rei will be given more "personality". (Rewritten. BADLY) When she's brought in injured to
pilot EVA01 she'll be bawling her eyes like a blue haired Belldandy... (Apologies to OMG fans)

4). Any soundstack for it will be heavily (HEAVILY) reminiscent of the stuff o the Matrix
(+sequels) soundtracks. OR they'll go completely overboard with Bach Mozart and Schubert...

5). Shinji stands a fair chance of growing a backbone (NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!)

6). No beloved Penpen. Or even worse, an AWFUL CG Penpen. No hope of using a real penguin or a
puppet whatsoever. (Seeing a wild penguin "borrowed" from a zoo go berserk on curry and beer binge
would be horribly cruel, but at least it would make an interesting feature on a DVD release!)

7). Any feelings between Shinji and kaworu? GONE.

8). May case severe irritation and a bad fanfic aftertaste.

9). There will be at least 1 reference to "Jackass" in it. At it's not gonna be anything to do
with Penpen's species of Penguin.

10). If EVA03 is infected, then EVA03 won't be made in America. Likewise with EVA04's hickup.

11). Goodbye religous references.

12). Goodbye Misato slapping Shinji (yes, even though it happened only was once)(Child beating?!
That'll go down well...)

13). Goodbye Misato drunk out of her face.

14). They'll call the Angels something else. "Angels" might offend too many people.

15). They'll run overbudget, mercilfully ending any further insult to injury.


And on an optimistic note:

16: Hideko Anno will be at the premiere, watch the first ten minutes, leave earlt and decide

(Jez, I did it SOO much better... maybe I should make just one more series...)


Again, I cannot overstate how much I hope I'm wrong on all these points. Somehow though they
sprang to mind, so some I really think at best it'll be "Neon Watered Down Evangelion"...

+Anto-



__________________________________________________
It's Samaritans' Week. Help Samaritans help others. 
Call 08709 000032 to give or donate online now at http://www.samaritans.org/support/donations.shtm